Teen Popularity, Acceptance, Fitting in and Stress: For parents and their teens
Posted: Wednesday, October 05, 2005
by Kathleen Lieu
http://nummyz.com
People actually do understand, but not in a way you want them to. Or maybe they really can't und
But how hard do they have it? They aren't working. They aren't keeping a whole family together. They are just in school, learning, and having fun while building the ladder to a brighter future.
But it is hard.
It doesn't have to be.
Why then is it such an enigmatic stage and so commercially valuable? At the ages from 11 to even 19 or 20, adolescents and teens really do think they are the center of the universe. If they don't, they want to be. Popularity is not literally to die for, but figuratively speaking, it is.
At this age, friendships are very important. School is the home away from home, a place where these young people spend most of their waking moments at. At home, too preoccupied with the net, homework, eating, and television, they often neglect their families to be in their own little world, to have a little privacy. At home, they can be different people, but at school, they have to keep up facades.
Please do not think that this applies to every teen. I often generalize in my writing.
They often keep their thoughts to themselves. They think no one can understand, asides from the friends they share the same dilemmas, interests, and predicaments with. They often fail to see the bigger picture of things and do not think of the future. Encouraging them seems to be useless and conversations often lead to bickering and even full-blown verbal fights.
When will this stage pass? What did the parents do wrong? What happened to the smiling child who wore everything his/her parent bought, who was happy in his/her parents' presence... What happened to the innocence?
This is the age where peers matter more, unfortunately however, this can be a mixed blessing. It is an age of independence and the teen can learn how to socialize in the world. Another unfortunate event however is that American schooling is inadequate in the areas of providing students with real-world experience. Sometimes, after high school and colleges, some people just don't make it and are stuck in their adolescent/teen stages-- mooching off their parents while continuing to live in their own little worlds.
You are wondering now how the article thus far relates to the title.
Well, for one thing, popularity and acceptance are so important that it often stresses a teen out. Popularity, if only there were a secret to it. How does that beautiful girl with all the boyfriends gain such popularity? Why does she have such charisma? Or why does that guy have so many friends? Why do people laugh at everyone of his jokes?
Insecurity often hovers around a teen. Stress from his/her family, school, and peers can collide. Teenage depression is thus so very common. It is rather unfortunate and ironic. In such a privilege country, teens are wishing for more and more and more.
Realizing that there is a bigger picture out there may set teen priorities straight. Talent exists in generations that are younger and younger. Unfortunately I will have to use the word unfortunately again. Talent is often wasted in pursuit of popularity, an intangible notion that really will do nothing for one in the end.
Time is a wonderful thing not to waste. There are so many things that teens take for granted. Their families, their opportunities... Having just graduated from the teen years, I look back now and only wish that I knew these words when I was a teen.
Teens deserve to have fun. But in the wake of disasters and terror, teens have to wake up and realize that one day, they will have to stop dreaming and start working too.
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More commentsYou went through over half the article without ever talking about wht the article was suposed to be about, you even said it yourself. You never even really answered your title, you just said teens are confused. Try to stay more on topic, or make a title that fits your article.
i spent the whole article explaining, perhaps my intellect is too perplexing for you to grasp, ticklephish
well somewhat it did but to be sure teens are not as confused as u may think they are but they arent pressure of popularity is the main issues in schools today nationwide and international and a problem that is growing each day.
yes, this article helped me very well, and gave me plenty of info. THANKS!
fitting in and being popular will get you nowhere, if you're strong willed, and know more about life than most PUNKS out there, than you will gain experience and wisdom throughout your life. Nobody successful was ever very popular, actors don't count. Albert Einstein was seperated because of his intellect of math. I would know you idiots, I'm 16. So don't think you know everything about teens anonymous writer of this article, your time was back then, this it time we live in now. Your summary is based on very few students who actually will never fit in, but it WILL gain them wisdom and strength in the years of work, and in the world of work, the most important reality to man.
I agree with Daniel. We live in a society that if you arent pretty, rich, popular, dress normal, your basically not accepted in the in crowd. Not all teen are pressured to fit in. I myself am one of them. We shouldnt be judged on our appereance, where we come from (families), or how much money we have. It should be on the inside and you as a person. I know some people who are beautiful that are snots. Some of the nicest people i have met are nerds. I am not in one in particular clique. I have many friends from every clique. Yeah we are pressued but if you have enough self confidence than we wont do the things we "have to do," to fit in. I think everyone should take a class on being more confident and standing out. Standing out is not a bad thing. If anything its better.
As the writer of this article stated she is not saying all teenagers are like this. I am sixteen years old and live in Australia and i believe this article has a great deal of truth. I myself am happy with my status at school, although i believe even myself am subconsciously obssesed with my status. Due to the media and my peers i believe a lot of teens are concerned mainly with themsleves. These are the years were we discover ourselves, experience new things, meet new people, make many mistakes. But i believe this is all to mould us into our future adult. I agree with the article written by kathleen, just because she isnt a teenager in the present means nothing, she has been one for 7 years in her teenage years and the time may have changed but a lot of things stay the same. Also observations can be made on other people, accurate observations at that. A good read Kathleen
I'm with miss xo mac dogg, I'm citing this for a school paper about teen acceptance. I'm citing not just the article though, but the posts afterwards, too, because of their obvious reflection of two very different views of the same society. I think it is just amazing the way that the internet allows the collection and viewing of view and opinions so easily, and in such a real and useful way.
i disagree with the whole growing up thing that this writer as stated, teenagers dont need to wake up, this is the ONLY time we are allowed to dream, so why stop that? after leaving highschool we come into the real world where there is no dreaming allowed? so why spoil your childhood by not allowing yourself to dream, as a teen, you are free to this. Being a teen is complicated enough without stressing over the reality of a couple years time.I think that this is a great point. I read this article because I'm writing a religion essay on Dorothy Day...don't ask about the topic... but I think that the years of adolescents are still a time of childhood. I believe that as a teen, we can live in harmony, knowing that there are struggles in life and the world around us and we can do stuff to help, but we don't need to be grown ups! I spent 5 weeks up in AK building a trail with 10 other people. I recently just got a text from one of them to live out my teenage years to the best of my abilities. I believe that that meant both to help the world and the people in it, but also enjoy and cherish my youth.
So you said that teens dont support their families? That is so not true. There are families in this day and age that the kids support the family. Like, not trying to start an argument with anyone 'cause im not, kids whos parents do drugs and drink and go out and party. there are teens that have to take care of their younger siblings. or kids who have to start working as soon as they can apply for a job to help their single or two parents who are having trouble paying things off. How would i know this? I have a friend like that. she talked to me about it. she told me everything. and to some people popularity is everything. and instead of having this person write about teen problems we should be writting. we should be talking about how WE act because guess what. WE ARE TEENAGERS! we would know!
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